You want to know what’s really sad? I realized I haven’t read a single book this summer. Not one. And I don’t know why. Well, part of it is that I don’t have the kind of money to spend on books that I used to, so all the spontaneously-bought-at-the-store books I used to read are out. But that’s not really an excuse, when I could go to the library and rent some for free.
But if I do that, I have to make it a trip. I have to go through the rows trying to find something interesting, and hope that I like it. I need to find the time. Which seems like so much work.
And it’s scaring me, my total apathy towards the whole enterprise.
I seem to be having that problem with a lot of things lately. I think that a problem with my personality is that I’m an all-or-nothing kind of person. I throw myself into one thing or another, and towards THAT I am all-encompassing. You’ll never find a more passionate soul. But except for that one thing, everything else goes to the wayside. It’s like I only have enough energy inside myself to fuel one thing at a time, and absolutely no overflow to motivate the other aspects of my life.
Right now, all of that is going towards my Korean interests. I faithfully continue to watch dramas and learn the language. I watch Youtube videos, read travel blogs, listen to KPop. Everything else? Er, well. I guess I still have you, blog. **Hugs the blog.**
I keep thinking of ways I can motivate myself above and beyond my usual apathy. Unfortunately, I am not a very self-motivated person, which is one of the reasons I can’t figure out why I thought I should go into a self-motivation-driven career. I mean, writer?? Really?? Dear lord. Anyway, I haven’t come up with much. I have thought about mapping out my days into chunks, and then making myself follow the schedule, but who am I kidding?
An object at rest will usually stay at rest. I did learn something from physics back in high school. And if there’s no real impetus, no driving force, nothing at stake, I can always convince myself (much more easily) that the schedule was more of a guideline anyway, and not something I need to stick to. The only one counting on me is myself, and I am a very lazy taskmaster, to say the least.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Any ways you have of motivating yourself? Of avoiding the pitfalls of complacency and getting things ACCOMPLISHED?
I would really love to know, because while the spirit is willing, the body is spongy and really, really lazy.
(As a final note, have a picture of the ridiculously sexy Jiro Wang. He is NOT Korean, but actually Taiwanese, and all rippling muscles and pretty face… You get this mostly because I want someone to fangirl with me.)